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I was born to a blonde hair blue-eyed mother who was living in a convent and on her way to becoming a Catholic nun prior to meeting, and then marrying my Cuban immigrant father (exiled pre-Castro).  

 

I was baptized as an infant at the iconic Holy Name Cathedral in downtown Chicago.  But, since my parents, who I fondly nicknamed “Lucy and Desi”, divorced when I was only eight years old, I was taken out of the church very young. Now 57, my entire life I searched for something that I didn’t know how to find.  I often muttered that “I believe in God”…I just didn’t know how to define what that meant.   Simply put, I just didn’t know, what I didn’t know.  God was always present in my life…He knew me, I just didn’t know Him as I do now.  I’d explored dozens of churches in my 50+ years, but nothing resonated. 

 

I was the youngest and only girl in a family of four kids.  We grew up in the overwhelmingly Jewish Chicago suburb of Skokie Illinois.  I jokingly self-identified as an “honorary Jew”.     

 

Even as a very young child, I dreamt of being a cartoonist or artist.  My favorite grade school class was art, and my favorite teacher was Mrs. Bruce- my art teacher.  

 

At the age of 8 years old I won my first art contest sponsored by Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors.  It entitled me to a free ice cream cone every day for at least a year.  This was a huge treat, as money was a scarcity in my childhood home.  

 

I forged my birth certificate at age 14 so I could work at Burger King.  But before that, I would ring my neighbors' doorbells and peddle my cartoon drawings starting at about the age of 8-10.

 

I wanted to create, but having grown up in near poverty, I feared being a “starving artist”.  So instead of boldly embracing my true passion, I went the route of advertising and communications in college.  My heart ached with envy when I saw my friends in graphic design working on their creations.  

 

Graduating a semester early in December 1985, my first job was for Mcdonald's marketing agency and paid $14,000 annually - not exactly crushing it.  During that post-college time, I created and sold several pieces of artwork for friends and family.  Painting was always my “happy place”, but I still wasn’t brave or confident enough to go for it and paint full time.

 

After divorcing my first husband with an 18-month-old baby girl, I launched a 10-year career as a muralist and faux finisher.   I was getting closer to my dream.  I was creating, but still only painting privately.  I was still too afraid to pursue my path.  

 

I developed health issues from all the fumes and airbrushed paint particles.  This set me on a path of natural healing, but it meant I had to quit that career.  

 

From there, I established a 501-C3 charity whose mission was to “spread the spirit of global gratitude and kindness”.  To save money, I built the 50+ page website for that charity myself.  This launched my 10-year freelance website design business.  I was able to use my creativity both visually and with words to help many other businesses- but it still wasn’t painting.  I am self-taught at web design and Adobe graphics tools.  Although I never lost my yearning to paint, overall website design was a great experience - until Covid.  As the world changed in 2020, so did I.  

 

My own websites organic traffic provided an abundance of work, but I stopped web design to try to “save the world” with a germicidal UV light company that had patented technology and a solution to kill all pathogens without being harmful to humans.  Given my perception of the gravity of its potential impact on the world, I hardly slept, ate, or took care of myself.  I’ve NEVER worked harder in my life - and sadly never earned less.  I had agreed to deferred payment while they secured funding.  They did not honor our agreement and they did not pay me.  That hurt my heart to be taken advantage of in that way.  As silly as it may sound, I was traumatized and in shock.  It actually felt like a physical rape.  Being taken advantage of like that when I had given so much knocked me off my game.  I didn’t even want to answer my business phone.  In fact, I cringed every time it rang.  Eventually, it stopped ringing.

 

After three failed marriages, and observing a world that seemed to have gone mad.  I began to search.  I didn’t want to spend one more precious moment on the wrong path.  Suddenly, the most important thing to me was a desire to know Jesus.  While I was baptized as a newborn, that choice was not my own.  I wanted to give my life to Christ. 

 

While the experience with that UV light company truly hurt my heart deeply, I can say that today, I thank the gentlemen leading that company.  What they did was wrong.  But had it not been for that experience, who knows when I would have gotten the bravery to finally pursue what I know now God has been calling me to do.    Painting in the name of the Lord is a true honor and blessing.

 

I needed a redirect so that I could open the path to doing what God inspired me to do.  God provided that redirect.  

 

Jesus told his disciples before his death on the cross - that he had to depart and be with Our Father.  But that they should be glad and that he would not leave them alone.  He told them if He didn’t leave the Helper - The Holy Spirit - would not come.  In a small but similar way, I feel that I had to leave the safety of my web design business - that so that I could finally start painting and pursuing the path God intended for me.